My parents struggled and there were weeks we ate beans and cornbread because that's all we could afford. My poor mom came home bone tired from being on her feet twelve hours a day as a nurse and my dad spend months on the road driving a truck so that I could have a few new school clothes in the fall. I never had name brands, but I didn't care, what I had was bought with love, and it was new to me.Even with their crazy work schedules they busted their asses to be at my theater plays, dance tryouts, and everything else.
They couldn't afford to put me in dance as a kid, but they nurtured my love of it and bought me instructional videos, I trained myself in ballet, jazz, tap and anything else I could get my hands on. This is the reason I made drill team in High School, and my mom was right there cheering me on. We are a strong loving family because we had to struggle together. I saw the value in little things like board games together and hot chocolate on the floor in our living room because that kind of thing is far more precious than them buying me designer jeans, shoes, or dresses. We never could afford to take a vacation in the summer. I've never been to Disney World, never had I seen the ocean until I moved to Japan, I went to Six Flags ONCE when I was a young teenager. But they made damn sure that my summers were fun, and spent in the company of friends and family.
When I turned 17 my parents wanted so badly to help me buy a car, but the one I wanted we were half the down payment short. You know what happened then? Josh, My future husband went to his boss and offered to work 12 Thursdays for free to get the other half of that down payment. He then showed up at Schlotzky's where I was working at the time, and folded that money into my hand while I bawled, and the other girls who worked with me swooned and asked me if he had a brother. That's love, the very definition of it. My parents and I then busted our asses paying off that car and I still have it. It's beat up and rough but it's mine and was given in love.
After Josh and I got married (at the JP because we couldn't afford an extravagant wedding like yours or a Honeymoon), and separated from the Air Force, we came home to start over. While we were in Japan my parents moved from the house I grew up in and bought the one in the country on eight acres they have now. I was still mourning because I never got a chance to say goodbye to my old house. It just so happened that when we moved home, it was up for rent. We couldn't really afford it, but Josh took a job that he HATED so that he could put me back in that house for a year to give me peace and closure. We struggled and he wanted us to stay there but the rent was killing us. Still, he gave me a year in that house, and it was priceless to me.
We bonded in ways that most couples don't and I doubt you have even a quarter of that bond with your husbands.
After we left that house, Josh got a new job that he loves and We scraped and lived with some relatives for a year while we saved and renovated the small house we live in now But we realized, we're lucky, we have each other, we have early morning cuddling and kisses, and little feet crawling into our bed to join our cuddlefest. we have Chinese take-out and movie nights snuggled up on the couch and amazing nights spent in the back forty under a blanket on the hood of his truck staring up at the stars, talking until three in the morning and summer nights ankle deep in mud on the four wheeler and the much appreciated night out on the town that doesn't come too often. We have inside jokes, love notes, and the faith in each other that comes with hardships faced and conquered. We may not have a new car every year, or vacations to wherever we want to go.
He wants so much to give me the big wedding we never had, to celebrate with friends and family and then take me away to Hawaii to feel the sun and sand on my bare skin and the warm swell of the ocean on my toes. Not because he wants to impress anyone but because he loves me and seeing me smile. It may always be a dream, but it's OUR dream. However, even if we don't ever get to fulfill it, we'll be just as happy with our quiet life and our beautiful son and we don't need expensive things to make our lives rich and and full. I hope one days these women will realize what's really important. Or one day they will find themselves in the same position we were in, and realize how empty and vapid their lives really are.